Battle of the Bulgarian Beauties: Are Your Children Safe?

Hello. I am Lativiya Goldstein-Martinez. Join me tonight at 11pm for Suburbia Undercover, where we will be investigating the newest danger to this Great Nation of Ours: "Bulgarian Beauty Battles". We will be fortunate to have with us Dr. Carson Gregory, who will help you detect the Five Warning Signs that your child may be experimenting with Bulgarian Beauty Queens. We'll also help you recognize the dangers that Bulgarian Beauty Queens present, and let you know how you can aid your local law enforcement agencies in stopping this growing epidemic. No parent should miss "Bulgarian Beauty Battles"

I'm Lativiya Goldstein-Martinez. Now, back to your local programming.