Miss Britney Spears Is Not Being Fat!

Tonight I am watching my favorite MetroArea television program. It is being called "Pop Rocks". Is so funny this title. Like famous candy. But do not be eating these famous candies with Coke. I am hearing from my cousin Pavel that he is having friend in Varna who is having exploding stomach with PopRocks and Coke. Well, not exactly PopRocks and Coke. It was truthfully PopRocks and BulgaKola. PopRocks were purchased in black market in Varna. BulgaKola was purchased in BulgMart. Where everyday is savings. But most importantly, stomach is exploding. A tale of caution.

So I am watching tonight PopRocks and I am being so happy. My favorite singer, Miss Britney Spears, is being interviewed. I am so thinking she is beautiful. And so talented. I am loving "Toxic". Miss Togo is often singing cover of "Toxic" at Holiday Inn. I am loving that too. Although not so much as original. Miss Togo has version that is derivative without reflecting tension between stewardess and fat passenger who becomes hot stuff. But still, Miss Togo has best "Toxic" cover in MetroArea.

So I am watching PopRocks with enjoyable Zima while Ismail snores on couch beside. He is not liking Miss Britney Spears so much. I am so wanting to hear about happy life of famous PopTart.

And so is with dismay I am hearing horrifying tale of terrible K-Fed! He is making piggy noises at Miss Britney Spears as she is trying to eat! Why would K-Fed be making piggy noises? I am being so sad at thought of Miss Britney Spears, with spoonfull of LeanCuisine halfway to lips while Mr. K-Fed is making all the time the "oink, oink, oink". Although I am always finding "oink" to be a strange word. In Bulgaria pigs are saying "gronk, gronk, gronk". More respectable for pigs to be saying "gronk". And yet my amusement at "oink" sound is balanced by sadness at thought of Miss Britney Spears, forced to eat LeanCuisine Basil Chicken and Orzo Pasta With Side Of Roasted Rosemary Potatoes, all the while listening to horrible oink-oink K-Fed noises.

And who is he being? Who is he being, Mr. K-Fed, who so laughingly oinks at Miss Britney Spears and is mocking her rubbing thighs noise? His thighs are not rubbing! He is not having to be nibbling celery stalk while being mocked by oinking noise.

No. He is being too busy. He is being busy with new song. Oh! What is new song being called? I am thinking it is being called.....

"PooPoo Cow!"

Take that Mr. Britney Spears!

Now who has face in tacos?