Freedom Has Its Price

Drat! I have received a call from Detective DeMille. It seems that they have found that I could not have been responsible for the captivity of Miss Bulgaria. Somehow they have found out about Elizabeth Nkwame, and she has verified my whereabouts on the night in question. And it appears that they know that my Kia had somewhat faulty brakes. And so I am cleared of all charges and free to go. Well, not exactly. I have been given a fine for "Illegal Trafficking In Rhinoceros Horn Within The MetroArea". Also a fine for "Aiding And Abetting The Use Of Dance As A Weapon".

May Pavla Nimkova rot in her cell! I regret intensely the day I agreed to teach her the Dance of the Gypsy Curse.

But now I have a bigger problem. Only one person could have given the MetroArea police that damning information. Only one person! And that person is that evil cow Ramona Ceauceascu, so-called Queen of the Gypsies. It is I, I who should be Queen. I am prettier, I have been Miss Romania Beauty Queen, which is much harder than Gypsy Queen, I am telling you, and I am much more accomplished on the tambourine. Ramona Ceauceascu uses the now outdated Varnatic method when she plays, while I employ the Parisian Flair Method. I think it is obvious which is superior.

But, she has sent me the Gypsy Summons. I must go to Cluj-Napoca. It is honor. It is family. It is pride.

It is $983 round trip.

Perhaps Miss Slovakia would like to buy the Kia.