Miss Albania Speaks To The Press

Thank you. Thank you for coming. First, I am just to let you know that Miss Bulgaria is fine. Yes, thank you! Thank you! She will be most grateful of your best wishes!

Second, MetroArea Vice have arrested Pavla Nimkova and Ana-Elena Devescu. It is a sad day for Former Soviet Bloc Beauty Queens here in the MetroArea. Although I was third runner up, it befalls upon me today to take up the crown. At least until Miss Bulgaria has fully recovered, for she was second runner up, and will rightfully wear the crown, unless the first runner up or winner are given probation instead of a lengthy jail sentence.

Oh! I must clarify something. We are talking about Miss Former Soviet Bloc 2000. You know, the Millenium Edition. Please do not confuse us with 1997-1999 or 2001-2005. Each and every one of these Queens is still in posession of her rightful Tiara.

It is only the Millenial Queens who will now be crowned with Shame.

I'm sorry. I am not taking questions.

Thank you all for your time and I will give Miss Bulgaria your warmest regards.

Oh! Wait a minute. I have forgottem one thing. Tonight's class in Dance of The Gypsy Pickpocket has not be cancelled. I have agreed to teach this course until further notice.

Thank you again. Now, really, this time I am finished. Good day.