A Witness Speaks Up

I am so very worried. I hope this is not all my fault. I was downtown at 5th and Main. I stopped by Ernesto's Tacos. I love Mr. Velazquez' guacamole. Who does not?

After I enjoyed the fine Mexican cuisine that Mr. Velazquez has on offer, I strolled a bit down the street. I then thought, "Hey! Miss Bulgaria lives right here. Perhaps I will stop and offer to say, Hello!"

After all, we were friendly competitors in the Miss Former Soviet Bloc contest. I think, surely she has not forgotten me?

And so, I firmly strode up to the door. And I rang the doorbell. And I heard a muffled sound. And then the door suddenly is open! And who is standing in front of me but Pavla Nimkova!

I to myself think, "Pavla Nimkova, why are you in the home of Miss Bulgaria?", but before I can formulate the answer to myself the muffled sound is repeated, just behind Pavla Nimkova, but a bit to her left, as perhaps just around the corner, in the foyer.

Pavla Nimkova smiles at me and says "Oh, Hello! Why, what can I do for you tonight?."

"May I please speak with Miss Bulgaria, please?", I ask most innocently.

"Oh, Miss Bulgaria is..."

But Pavla Nimkova's words are disrupted by the muffled yet still unseen to me sound. And then a figure dashes into view from Pavla Nimkova's right, which suprised me, because I assumed the muffled sound was from the foyer when, in fact, it was from the broom closet.

Suddenly, a muffled red-headed figure pushed its way by us both! Pavla Nimkova shrieked the shriek of the thwarted!

I did not understand. But as I winced away from the shriek, I saw most unexpectedly that the muffled figure was, in fact, Miss Bulgaria.

And she ran! She ran so fast! She was as if blind in one eye! For she did not see the approaching car, which, with a terrifying thud, knocked her into Mrs. Rosenbaum's garbage receptacle.

Lucky Miss Bulgaria, that Mrs. Rosenbaum always puts out her garbage receptacle much too early, and much to the dismay of her neighbors.

I stood frozen in horror, but strangely thrilled, on the stoop until the distant sound of wailing sirens alerted me to the fact that someone had called 911.