Hannah Rosenbaum Is Vindicated

So. I've lived in 2C for, what? 20 years? Yes, 20 years I've lived here. I've seen people move in, people move out, people move in, people move out. Always I put my trash out when it's full. I've got trash to go out, it has to go out. The trash can's full, it's full. What else can I do? I ask you, what else can I do? This hasn't been a problem in our building until the DeLuca family moved in, about what, 3, 4 years ago? Maybe 5. Who knows? But anyway, right after they move in, that Joe DeLuca is banging at my door. "You put your trash out too soon!", he yells. I open the door and tell him "It's full, my trash is full, so I put it out, what do you care?" And he gets all red in the face and starts waving his arms around, you know, like they do, and tells me that today isn't trash day, tomorrow is trash day. So I say to him "Today. Tomorrow. What's the difference?" And I shut the door. And so it starts. Every week he's at my door with the same complaint. And every week I'm giving him the same answer.

Until last night, when my trash saved that poor Miss Bulgaria's life. I knew there was something funny going on downstairs, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Miss Bulgaria, she's always a quiet one. Never up late, never bringing home strange men. Not like that Tina Kolowski upstairs in 3B. Tramp. No, Miss Bulgaria was always a good neighbor.

Which is why I was suspicious when I heard those muffled noises through the floor. You know, a sort of mmmmpph, mmmppph, mmmppph. Like that. Not like the disgusting noises I hear from 3B when Miss Party Pants has a "guest".

I wish now I had called the police. Only they won't come by any more ever since the whole terrorist threat incident. So how was I to know? Pakistan, Peru....What's the difference?

Anyway, Joe DeLuca is singing a different tune tonight. What can he say? You should have put your trash out a day later and killed that poor girl?

From now on, every day is trash day.