Michael Richards, Douche

At this point, Michael Richards’ racial tirade is already old news. But, since everyone else has already given their two cents on the whole matter, I thought I’d weigh in myself. I’m guessing we’ve all seen the video at this point and most of us probably found it shocking. I was not hugely surprised, in fact I didn’t expect it to turn into a sequel of Nipplegate, but I admit to watching the clip with a bit of a startled look on my face. Most surprising is that it’s just plain not funny. It’s one thing if Richards’ responses to hecklers had the quick wit and timing that would be expected of a seasoned stand-up comedian. Instead, he just got really loud and repeated the same phrases over and over again with increasing intensity.

Unlike most of the world, I don’t believe that Richards is a racist. I believe him when he said he was trying to be shocking and make a joke out of the situation. Instead of believing that all along TV’s lovable Kramer has been hiding some seedy racist dark side, I think it really boils down to the fact that he’s just not that good. Instead of being a total racist, he’s really just a moron. He thought that he could pull of responding to hecklers who offended him by doing something amusing, edgy, and offensive right back. Instead of pulling off a Lenny Bruce or even a Lisa Lampanelli, he just became another Mel Gibson, a big star who embarrasses himself when he lets his mouth write a check his talent can’t cash.

Instead of branding Michael Richards a Klansman, we should all just realize he’s not some closet racist, he’s just a has-been and an arrogant hack. Just like when Mel Gibson declared that he thinks the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world, it didn’t instantaneously destroy the lives of every Jewish person, instead the person it hurt the most was the idiot who said it. Michael Richards, like Mel Gibson before him, is getting just what he deserves from this. His goal was to humiliate the hecklers, but guess who’s laughing now.